Depressed Asperger's Thoughts and Whatever

It's my year. Yaaay..... not. But since everyone's talking about it, I thought I might check out on my year: https://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-zodiac/rat.htm The first thing that can be read: "Year of the  Rat , or year of the Bat and Bad? The recent Corona Virus ourbreaking in  Wuhan China  seems to be a sign of the beginnings of an inauspicious year, according to Chinese beliefs, for those living in China and especially for those living in Wuhan where the virus originated. Some recent reports have indicated that the virus may have come from close contact with bats - who have unwillingly taken over the headlines during this new Year of the Rat... We hope that all people who are Rats in the Chinese zodiac aren't too discouraged - This is your year! - To all Rats around the world, we wish you a healthy and lucky year in 2020!" I laughed, not at the virus but the implication. Bats are rats that can fly.

Although it pretty much is dead. 😅 I don't post for the sake of posting, maybe I should? A few things: Edit: I had forgotten to mention, my J>E Translators are MIA :( I quit kickboxing because something (a stone, according to the doctor that examined me) formed in my muscles (getting it treated thou); I hate how much dust construction work does! I guess I just didn't know; I have a mole to be removed, yep; I bought Clip Studio Paint EX for 50% off! (maybe it'll channel my inner Mashima); Life continues to be a pain (and I'm sure to most people as well, stay strong out there); Visual Novels still keep me going, eases the pain of loneliness; Fairy Tail's finale episode was received with a lot of praise; I'm happy because people weren't satisfied with Fairy Tail's manga ending (Can't wait for the sequel in anime! I wanna see Brandish again! Altho if they don't animate it, it's alright since I can just read...

Today was..... Surprisingly eventful and uneventful at the same time. So, I wake up to my mom telling me about 2 guys in a car chasing my grandma around, they even pulled by her in the traffic lights and motioned for her to get out of the car, she locked the doors jic they tried something. Unfortunately, my grandma is old and it's hard for her to do much, she didn't get the license plate numbers but she remembers the car, which my mom told me about but I had already forgotten 5 minutes later. 😅 I kind of got scared at first hearing this. But well, I do kickboxing, I have my hockey stick at the ready jic AND I don't go to bed until much much later/earlier. Which would turn off most people who would want to break into a house. So, yeah. Weird day overall. I don't know why but, I always feel cocky about such matters, even more when I have been taking kickboxing classes...... I'd probably lose the fight lol

Which is pretty normal for an Asperger's. These obsessions slow my life down, but... sometimes it proves useful. Less often than I'd like. And also makes my work rate slow, because I'll be obsessed looking for more reference material or w/e. I know it's crappy as hell but that's what I get for creating and publishing a blog post through my phone, lol. Also kudos to my friend that showed me the fastest way to grind all the cosmetics I love.

I made it through. 🥊 Even though I won't have any vacation myself, ahah. The teacher asked us about vacation and when he asked me if I liked the beach, I responded: "I haven't had a vacation in more than 10 years." 🤷‍♀️

I'll admit when I was bored lying in bed I was thinking about my future, then I thought about this. Bartip D&D or w/e it can be called. I thought it was a fun way to tip bartenders. If they can solve the dungeon they get the 5€, if they can't and only get past the first monster they only get 1€. Amusing/creative answer the [boss] monster might decide to let them pass, correct answer is, well, correct and as such well deserved. Yeah, I got a few screws loose I guess.

"I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us." "Some day I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us." I was listening to this song, thought about making a post about it. Wonder if I'll ever be strong enough.

It's what I started calling every Sunday where I'm alone in my house. That part doesn't bother me as much as having to socialize with my late father's side of the family since our houses are connected and idk how to cook... I'm pretty useless and they'd get mad if I'm here alone and don't want to eat with them. So not much choice there. I'm also so sleepy... I haven't been getting any sleep because I don't want tomorrows to come. We just get older. And I'm just wasting away. "Manage me, I'm a mess."

I used to do no sports, lack of interest. But since I'm paranoid about going out at all that I don't go, I started taking kickboxing lessons. My therapist helped me start it, no one had been able to convince taking up a sport before. Although I like it, there's a lot I dislike about it. And my only reason to go is to prove my grandma and aunt wrong. I wouldn't say I'm forcing myself, it's just some parts about it that I don't like and it kind of has to do with the people there, the first time I went there I was kinda freaked out... my mom helped me talk to the coach that this was for therapy and stuff and since I take meds, my reflexes are slower than the average person, idc if he understood that though. At first I distanced myself from the people but now I'm pretty used to them - except for this one kid that comes at me when sparring like we were in a real match. I wish I didn't have to take meds so I could keep up, ahah. So...

I realized that... Some stuff I might be sharp at, others might be oblivious. And vice versa. That's why it's best to always be honest. But, isn't that pretty obvious in itself? It seems like it, but it's not.

I went to bed at 4AM and couldn't fall asleep until 6~7AM. Not the first time, I always feel like a corpse the morning after. But, just 1 COFFEE! Wakes me up and keeps me functional.