Yesterday.
My internet friends are always rooting for me. I love them.
Which led me to post an update status because I believed the people that follow/ed me deserve it.
My brother called me. Yep.
Because I had written in my post that not even my brother believed me.
Instead of calling to check up on me for once, he called me to tell me he felt WRONGED.
No. Me and my mom were the ones that were WRONGED.
It goes back more than 2 years, but in these 2 years he moved out and only called me or messaged me to do errands for him. "You don't respond to my messages" - because they're errands, what am I supposed to say? I just do them as I'm told to do, because even though he missed the point of everything I STILL LOVE HIM VERY MUCH, growing up with him was a blast and he was always kind and I ALWAYS idolized him. I'd talk to my friends about my brother's good grades, how good he was at every sport, how good he was at games and how I loved to watch him play games.
Never once in my life I thought this would happen.
Not to drag this out, let me just TL;DR.
It's not just these 2 years, he was barely present in my life.
But take these 2 years away, leaves 3 years I never talked about.
Well, I guess he wasn't as mature as he was 2 years ago, but 5 years ago.
5 years ago I was at a different psychiatrist AND my brother was doing an internship in the SAME HOSPITAL as MY PSYCHIATRIST. I remember begging him to talk to him sometime so he could share his POV and talk to the psychiatrist to learn something about me, to learn how he should deal with my depression, anxiety, etc...
He NEVER once went.
Past 2 years: I ask him to come with me to my new psychiatrist
I ask him to come with me to my therapist
Did he ever come? No.
Busy. He always said.
I don't need to hear them, I already know.
Only coming home on Sundays because it's family lunch time, always nagging me; he said he thought he was doing the right thing. But he says. He says: "I know you have all those problems but you're spoiled." Me? Maybe, no, idk? I was raised with HIM, my mom loves both of us unconditionally.
We had the SAME education, shared decades of life.
Woah, doesn't look like a TL;DR. Welp.
Here's how I felt when he told me HE felt wronged and I HAD to apologize
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| Why? |
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Whether or not he disagrees with your opinion, that doesn't devalue you emotions. It's insensitive of him to put the blame on you without acknowledging that your feelings had to come from somewhere and perhaps, even if he doesn't see it or feels things were blown out of proportion or you are being spoiled, etc, his actions DID play a part. His choosing not to apologize and to deflect his responsibility means that nothing will change on his end. Sounds to me like the result was he put the onus entirely on you to unilaterally resolve the situation for his sake. If anyone in this situation sounds spoiled or unrealistic to me, I'd say it's him.
ReplyDeleteI hope he can see that responsibility is a two way street and you can resolve your differences. You apologizing helps him and not you. Seems like that is the theme. You said this about him. You are spoiled. You have to apologize. Sounds to me more like it is him deflecting. Maybe he'll realize someday soon? I hope you can both grow from this experience and that your relationship doesn't continue to stagnate. Everyone deserves strong support in their lives and it sounds to me like you don't get nearly enough. Trust me; when your family is supportive it makes healing/coping a lot easier!
DeleteDon't see that happening anytime soon, me and my mom tried to explain that to him but he still said he felt wronged.
DeleteAnd you-know-who just makes it worse. He's basically a puppet. I bet the strings were pulled by her because anything she can take, she blows it out of proportion.
I only apologized so he would shut the fuck up, honestly.