Late night, or early day posting.
I totally don't want the time to pass.
Makes me sad.
I'm scared of getting older.
At this point what gets me to live is Visual Novels, GxG ones, I hate VNs like the Sakura ones, just about "carnal desires" and nothing else, these kind of VNs are the worst I have ever played.
The characters are plain in personality, the plots are boring and it just makes me sad most of the GxG VNs are like that. It seems there's lots of good Kinetic VNs GxG but I like having choices.
A lot of times it's a struggle finding VNs, especially since I have no money so most of the times I play the free ones or play them cracked. I know it's horrible to not support the devs but I don't have the money for such spending...
They make me feel loved and in love, the purest kind. How could I not love them?
It's sad they're not real. I'm very lonely, but that loneliness fades at least for a short
while, while reading the VNs.
What a sad existence, eh?
I don't like to place value on anyone's existence and I hate it when people do. Besides, just because things seem sad now doesn't mean they will later. I know it sounds cliched but happiness could be just around the corner. When we give up because it's crap now we are essentially handicapping our future from getting better. We aren't passive observers of our own destinies. There's a difference between what you"can" do and what you "choose" not to do. Depression is a psychological crutch not a physical one. I dunno, I hate to lecture. These are things you'll no doubt realize on your own someday. I don't doubt you'll find happiness, and when you do, you'll look back on these moments and wonder why you never saw the opportunities. But being passive and waiting for things to come is maddening. I won't dispute that. There are so many types of therapy, that I hope you find something that helps. You just need to be receptive and work toward it. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.
ReplyDeleteMy mom keeps telling me that everything is gonna be ok and it'll be alright.
ReplyDeleteBut she has told me that for so long I became a non believer.
Especially when I have people handicapping my freedom and my mom's freedom.
🐍
I don't blame them 100% of course. But if they were understanding and tried to help things could be so much better.
DeleteUnderstandable. The people around you will make things easier or harder, but I don't feel they have 100% control over your future. If people can run away from home and become billionaires or escape from persecution in the Middle East to gain a Nobel Prize, I'd really hate to handicap anyone's future.
DeleteI mean, I'm not implying it's easy, but there are plenty of wild success stories. People may have written them off, but they never did to themselves, and in the end, they achieved something phenomenal.
DeleteCan't really leave the elderly to die though. My mom's more shackled than I am.
DeleteBut I suppose since I'll be confined here in private I'll finally be able to work on something? Or not, maybe just go crazy.
Certainly not go crazy-er! I hope when the renovation is finished you'll have more opportunities present themselves. That will be the real test.
DeleteTests. monkaS
DeleteI don't generally read VNs, but I feel like I'd enjoy kinetic VNs more, since I enjoy a story more when I'm following it rather than immersing myself in one of its roles. I guess there are people that like everything, but I must be in the majority since most are like this. I wish there was more variety. No idea why the GxG VNs are so bad. I guess it depends on who it is targeting. I'd imagine that most readers are male, so it wouldn't make sense for them to immerse their self as a female lead, so that encourages kinetic novels... or something? Could the normal crappy ones be written by males as well? I also feel like lesbians are more of a niche than straight romance and gay (male) romance. Maybe? In short, I have no idea. Just a thought experiment, I guess?
ReplyDeleteWell, I do hope to change that in the future. Gonna be a pain and a lot of work but I guess I'm in for the long haul, especially since my having a room soon is basically being confined in a space, like a jail... I didn't realize sooner or I'd have asked to live on an apartment alone... I'd probably die alone 😒 Idk, at least I'd like to have gotten the chance, but being mentally blocked to take a driver's license doesn't help in that regard, my mom would be left alone in a "Den of Evil".
Delete"This is no place for a warrior to die." - FemalePaladin
DeleteIconic.
DeleteMy mom certainly doesn't deserve to die here and deserves to have happiness.
But as things stands, she's just slaving away, to people who don't appreciate her effort.