Today's feelings.
My thanks to coffee.
I went to bed at 4AM and couldn't fall asleep until 6~7AM. Not the first time, I always feel like a corpse the morning after. But, just 1 COFFEE! Wakes me up and keeps me functional.
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Late night, or early day posting.
I totally don't want the time to pass. Makes me sad. I'm scared of getting older. At this point what gets me to live is Visual Novels, GxG ones, I hate VNs like the Sakura ones, just about "carnal desires" and nothing else, these kind of VNs are the worst I have ever played. The characters are plain in personality, the plots are boring and it just makes me sad most of the GxG VNs are like that. It seems there's lots of good Kinetic VNs GxG but I like having choices. A lot of times it's a struggle finding VNs, especially since I have no money so most of the times I play the free ones or play them cracked. I know it's horrible to not support the devs but I don't have the money for such spending... They make me feel loved and in love, the purest kind. How could I not love them? It's sad they're not real. I'm very lonely, but that loneliness fades at least for a short while, while reading the VNs. What a sad existence...
I'm obsessed over getting every accessory in Tekken 7
Which is pretty normal for an Asperger's. These obsessions slow my life down, but... sometimes it proves useful. Less often than I'd like. And also makes my work rate slow, because I'll be obsessed looking for more reference material or w/e. I know it's crappy as hell but that's what I get for creating and publishing a blog post through my phone, lol. Also kudos to my friend that showed me the fastest way to grind all the cosmetics I love.
You depict your depression as a spirit holding you back from what you want to do. If you don't stand up to it, it won't ever go away. It masquerades as your own thoughts, and I think acknowledging what you want to do versus what it tells you you want to do is a good first step. The next is to dissociate from it. It's difficult, I know, but it's not holding you back so much as your unwillingness to take a stand is doing so.
ReplyDeleteIt's the cycle that makes me unwilling (and other stuff) but hey I'm trying.
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